I have a stupid head, and its making me think things which make me sad, VERY sad. And in all honesty, do I have a right to even think these things?

It feels stupid to talk about them, even.  And that self-destructive streak is back, and dying to just be let loose.

Have a visitor soon, so many some company will lighten the mood a bit. Then have a run in the morning, before a little teaching later :) So something to do tomorrow.

hmmm, new view on the blog, but otherwise it's not too shabby.

Thinking too much tonight , and so much on my mind, trying hard not to let it drag me down, but its one of those things...

As soon as I see something that makes me feel a little sad, I have this crazy urge, to do something self-destructive. Generally that involves a certain someone, but she'd already gone to bed.

It's sorta strange, I feel like I'm back to square one with her, but doing my best to be positive about it, and trying to just enjoy my time with her. It's hard, wanting to kiss, hug, and even make love with her though.

Otherwise, did some teaching today, was fun :) although it was probably the least successful time I've had so far, but I'd been warned it was a tough class. Managed to hold their attention for much of the time though, so shouldn't complain. Got asked back on thursday, and next friday, and some paid tutoring is coming up too, so looking forward to that. Could be a step into some more permanent work further down the line.

Jury is still out on what I'm going to do next. I would love to hang about, see where things going, but I gotta start thinking realistically now, assess what my options are and make that decision.