Things haven't been going so well for me lately. Someone has yet again vandalised a car I drive, I've given up on love, and although work has gotten better, I retain no zest for my job, or for my future anymore.

Its not that I feel sorry for myself, because I don't really, I just can't seem to motivate myself anymore. I go through the motions day in, day out. I play football, rather badly at the moment, and otherwise I have nothing to really look forward to in my day-to-day life.

Its all well and good asking for help, the thing is, even if I listen to the advice, understand it, and say "hey, that's a good idea", I won't follow through on it.

I don't want to move, and I don't want to stay....so what to do? It feels like I could just roll over, go to sleep and never wake up again.

This all sounds pathetic, if I had read this even a year ago, I would have given myself a kick up the backside, but now I see what my parents saw all those years ago.....

The apartment is a mess, and there's dishes to do, clothes to wash and a car to clean out (two really) but there's just nothing pushing me forward anymore.

Gonna zone out and do something completely pointless for a while.....

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